christa02's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- why can't i be myself Sorry about the last post. things are really shitty. i want to get better i really do. but i'm just too scared. i've had various people tell me i need help and i know they are right but i amjust too scared to get help. on a number of occasions in the past two weeks close to making an appointment with the doc or getting info on where to go to help but i back off all the time. so i am trying to forget about it and battle it myself but everyone's harsh words hurt me so much. so yeah.. i just can't get off my fat butt off the net and be social and when i do i fuck up. I'm a member of myspace and hi5. i've used a pic of Ana for my profile on hi5 and one guy who just added me thinks that is me and is already asking me questions. he seems nice and all but you know if he knew the real me he'd run a mile. EVERYONE DOES! so i don't really know what to say to him. oh yes that is really me in that pic i am rich and famous and beautiful. not. got a few new friends at myspace as well. i'd die of embarassement if they knew the real me. i wish i could just be who i am, and people would like that.
you get so bored you talk to the wrong person and listen to their shit for about an hour and you have nothing to say to them 7:28 p.m. - 2005-06-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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